Presidents And Assholes

Game Type: Card - P


  • Deck of cards
  • lots of ants


This sounds complicated, but really it's not. Deal the entire deck. Whoever has the 3 of Clubs starts the first game. Continue going clockwise, each player laying down a card, or cards, higher than the one played before (Aces low). Doubles beat singles, triples beat doubles, and quads beat triples. You have to play if you can.

A two clears the pile and the person who lays down the two lays down another (preferably their lowest card).

Threes reverse the order to counter-clockwise, then back if another 3 is laid down. If someone cannot play a card, they pass and take a drink. If no one can play on the last card (s) dealt, it clears and the person who no one could play on lays down another card, and you continue in order. The point is to be the first one to be out of cards, because that makes you the president. The last person out of cards is the asshole, and you can fill in the one's between (vice, secretary of whatever, it's up to you - be creative).

For the next game, whoever is the asshole has to deal that hand. As long as the asshole is dealing and hasn't picked up his cards, he is in control. He can make anyone drink as much as he chooses, especially for someone touching their cards before he does. But beware - as soon as the asshole touches his cards, everyone else is in charge of him because they have a higher rank.

The president gets to make a rule (my favorite is the one where you have to say "…in my vagina." after you finish talking), and if someone forgets to honor the rule, they have to drink.

The asshole is in charge of clearing the cards (when someone lays down a 2 or no one can play) and as soon as someone realizes the cards need to be cleared, they start counting until the asshole clears the cards, and the asshole has to take that many drinks. Anyone higher than you (they got rid of all their cards before you last round) can tell you to drink, but if you are above them in the next round, you can get your revenge.

Keep playing until everyone is too drunk to figure out if a 7 beats a 5 and everybody wins!